So you’re a YouTuber, what the hell does that mean?!
I’ve realized that with the holidays come gatherings, and with gatherings come meeting people, and with meeting people come questions.
Now maybe it’s a YouTube thing or a Hollywood thing, or maybe it’s just a human social skill OR lack there of….to ask “what do you do?” upon meeting someone new. My response is always, “I’m a YouTuber”, to which I must immediately follow up with (gauging that I need to do this from the clueless look on their face) “I make YouTube videos….on the internet”….yup, clueless and now confused acquaintance is not only still very clueless and confused, but they are now slightly intrigued because they heard the word internet. YO, I’m a comedy girl, that’s the kind of videos I make *insert video of me changing my name and why here*.
So my ‘job’ is that I’m a YouTuber. As a YouTuber it’s my job to create. Now here comes the tricky part.
What does a job with YouTube even mean?! Ya know, my parents still ask me how it is that I support my daughter by ‘making videos’ for the internet and i’s complicated ok. One day I’ll talk all about it. For now I’ll do for you what I do for the rents and that’s to define what I do.
So ‘job’ is defined as: 1) employment; that which is employs you and I am employed…thank you YouTube (yes mom, this is me being employed), 2) business; this is my business, and 3) position; ….my position as a YouTuber is to record my thoughts and rants in my own way that convey my personality….which to me is throwing some sketch elements in there because I can never take anything too seriously. Obviously.
So essentially, my JOB is to be creative to a live audience! Ohhh noooo pressure right?! If you think the life of a YouTuber is grand and stress free and perfect, you couldn’t be farther from the truth. Yes it is grand, no it is not stress free and it is really not perfect. Unlike most jobs, most of us started out doing YouTube out of hobby, and liking to be in front of the camera, I mean let’s face it, we’re all attention whores or we wouldn’t be plastering our faces all over the internet for the whole world to see and comment on. Buuuuut it’s still a job nonetheless, or it’s at least become one for many of us through the evolution of YouTube. We still get up in the morning and write sketches, blogs, scripts, etc, then take the day to film, then take the rest of the day to edit…blah blah blah life of a YouTuber blah blah I don’t have a team of people blah blah.
And just being in the mood to be creative on camera at any given moment isn’t so much where I feel the pressure, it’s what to be creative about that forces me into procrastination mode. Hence me changing the format of my channel a million gazzillion times because it’s not about what works or get views for me (though this is some awesome incentive), because if I’m not happy doing it then your not gonna be happy watching me because it’ll be so obvious and painful. I hate when people do things on YouTube because it will get the views. If you love it and it gets the views then hey, win win. But I was there, I know what it’s like to make videos and want to be noticed because I was cleavage chick for like the 1st year of my YouTube presence and I stillll have to block remove and delete boobs boobs boobs comments. I know ALL about working my angles…no pun intended. But then sometimes it moves from what people want to what you want, or it did for me at least.
I still want to know what my audience wants to see, but I’m more focused on giving them something I like and them liking what it is that I’m doing more than anything. After all, they are on your channel to see you, and if they don’t like what you’re changing well then you either do what’s good for business or you do what’s good for you. For me, I am doing what is good for me. I’m actually in a place where I love the video content I create, even though I still get stuck on what I want to film that day or that it will take me forever and a day to edit (because I am THE worlds slowest editor. Imagine a snail going uphill in the middle of winter, on a hill made of molasses). So I’ve switched my channel from green screen and characters to my now vlog/sketch and beauty channel and it’s like a WHOLE variety hour when you visit my channel, and not only are you getting new content, but you’re getting a new name!! *GASP*!!!! YUP, I’ve changed my YouTube channel name and all eighteen gazillion social media handles to my name, Jess Lizama.
Why would you brand yourself ExoticJess and then change it almost 3 years later you may be asking. Well, I did it because like all things in life, I’ve evolved and I want more for my channel, my brand, myself. And my ExoticJess name, though I chose it and have no regrets about it, will have to just hold a dear place in my heart because some people are just assholes and can’t see past the word Exotic, or even worse of a numb nut move to make is they mistake exotic for erotic. NO, I’ve never done porn before so don’t ask and if you get a close punch to the forehead if you do ask then don’t be surprised. Even though I did modeling back in the day and I’m still very proud of my body and any choices I’ve made, I’ve never done anything I’m not proud of, but that doesn’t mean exotic means sex. Jesus. And you shouldn’t do anything you won’t be proud of anyway. Own your decisions, love your choices, and live with your consequences. I’m a mother, it’s my duty to lecture you I apologize. But in all seriousness, I want to do more mommy blogging and more acting, and more of everything that has to do with me entertaining people and making people laugh whether that be on my channel, on a web series, in a comedy club, or on the big screen, I’m leaving everything open to possibility. So it is unfortunate that something as simple as a user name would hold me back.
Wow now that was a tangent! It went from talking my job on YouTube to my name on YouTube to what I want for the future to me being your mom….maaaan my segways are flawless!
What I meant to say is that I know all about wanting change, wanting more, feeling stuck, and experiencing creative blocks. I’ve been in creative funks and I’ve been discouraged about YouTube changes and how it affects my life, and how YouTube can be so drama infested.
What I tell people when they ask me about what I do and how I stay creative (because we are on a constant ‘must create something new mode’), is what I also struggle to remind myself. That if you keep moving and doing what makes you happy not what makes you money (hey sometimes these two things go hand in hand cheers for those of you who broke the code), if you keep creating no matter what that means for you (writing, singing, drawing, filming, editing, directing, etc) that everything else will fall into place. Youtube isn’t for everyone and I don’t plan on vlogging my whole life, it is a platform for me to try new things and see what I love most, and the goal is different for everyone. But staying active, doing something daily to forward your goals in the over all big picture, and remembering that those down days also balance out the overwhelming crazy busy days, will keep you focused. Accomplishing the lil goals help make the big goal a reality. So eighteen hundred paragraphs later; set goals.
We breathe our destiny into fruition people, think of it cheesy or cliche, but I am a firm believer of this. Your thoughts are more powerful than you think, and the energy and people we surround ourselves with become our energy. So be focused, stay positive, surround yourself with good, and remember that people don’t talk about their shit days or all the things they AREN’T doing with their lives. Some people do, but most DON’T. MOST only talk about the good, so don’t compare.
Be happy, be creative, be you, and who the hell knows how I turned this blog from being about me being a YouTuber to me being Yoda for the night telling you how to lead happy fulfilling lives. I rant, I know this. YouTubers have it just as difficult as any other person in any other profession in that we all struggle to maintain, stay relevant, make money, have lives, and do what we love….imagine that.
love, the girl who doesn’t know when to stop typing goodnight xoxo
8:32 pm • 6 December 2012 • 16 notes
Love doesn’t suck, people do
I don’t claim to be a love guru, but I have been in some really great relationships in my life and some really horrible ones. Though most break ups don’t end with both parties remaining friends in the end (you are lucky and awesome if you do fall into that category however), I’m still a believer that everyone has a great love ahead of them, and I’m still the cheesy hopeful romantic who cries while watching ‘When Harry Met Sally’. Yup, I’m THAT girl.
I decided I wanted to write tonight because I’ve been getting a bunch of comments, emails, and questions about love, relationships, heartache, and all the things that drive us to eating tubs of Haagen Dazs and venting to our closest friends until their faces are numb.
So let me preface this by saying that these are just my opinions given the experiences I’ve been through, so should you decide not to take my advice, well then hey, shut up and put up (I’ll explain this saying below), or do something about it, but don’t email me about how my advice sucks. In the words of the great Dr. Seuss “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose." <—- cheesy quote reference number one, you’re welcome.
First question I’ll address is ‘how do I tell someone I like them or that I have ‘more than friends’ feelings for them?”—- I say this, if the person you are having all these feelings for makes you that uncomfortable that you can’t have an open conversation about how you feel, then just how well do you know them? I’ve always hated the whole ‘game of dating’ where people hide how they really feel, they wait days until contacting the other person because the fake stupid rule is that ‘the other person will contact them first’, and you can’t appear to be too available or too anxious, it’s all stupid. We are adults, and if you aren’t an adult then you should know that dating usually means sex and sex is an act that could result in adult decisions so play with caution, own your decisions, and games are for children. If you like someone say, “hey, we’ve been spending a lot of time together, I’m kind of into you and I’d like to see if we can take this friendship to the next level, what are you doing Tuesday night because I’d love to take you out on a date.” (yes make the statement this long, girls (well this girl anyways) appreciates honestly, confidence is sexy, and Tuesday nights are way more adventurous than Friday nights. Please know the difference though between being forward and honest and just being plain pushy. Pushy translates to douchy.
"how do I know if my relationship is over?"—— If you have to ask someone if they think something is over than you’re just trying to confirm what you already know to be true. Your gut is normally right. The cave men survived for so long because they didn’t eat certain mushrooms, and how did they know to do that?- their gut….ok, that and maybe some freakishly keen sense of smell. What I’m saying is that if you think it’s over and you really care not to fight for it, then it’s over. Couple of things to look for are: how’s the flirting going? People who date, for years even, or who are married foreverness, should still flirt with one another. They should still touch, play, giggle, tickle, flirt. If you don’t keep things exciting one if not both of you will want out. Are you still fighting? I think there’s a huge difference between bickering about petty things and actually having huge blow out fights where people are breaking plates and throwing wrenches at one another- please don’t do this, violence is not the answer people. I think if two people are still willing to fight, then there is still something there to be salvaged, you fight for things you want, so if you can’t even muster up the energy to fight then what are you still doing there? How often do you talk? Communication is huge. I’d say communication, humor, understanding, and patience are the four main things that keep a relationship going…..ok that and sex. Sex plays a huge part in relationships but I’ll save that for another writing sesh. Hey, I’m not great at those things either, but make an effort because every couple I’ve ever talked to that has maintained a healthy relationship/ marriage past seven years has pointed out these qualities. Try turning off the radio in the car or leaving your phone in your purse or face down on silent on the dinner table, and actually having a conversation. Everyone is beautiful when they are young, so when you get older you still want to be able to have fun with and enjoy the other person, so talking to each other is HUGE!!! People stay in relationships for the wrong reasons, if all you do is talk about how unhappy you are but never do anything about it, then ‘shut up and put up’ meaning quit complaining and deal with it until you are ready to DEAL with it.
"how do I get over my break up?" ——- Now this one is huge and difficult for me to answer because everyone copes differently. You should know though, that most of the heart ache you feel immediately following a break up is your body going through withdrawals. Literally. Dopamine and serotonin are your enemies right now. Dopamine is the pleasure hormone you get when your lover is around. It’s the ‘reward’ drug that’s released into your blood, ahhhh love and rewards, right?! And serotonin gives you the feeling of happiness, so anytime that person pops into your thought and you associate that with love and happiness…boom, more drugs for your brain. I don’t mean for this post to sound all overly emo or pessimistic, I’m just trying to tell you what your body is going through and what your ‘heart’ is going through are two very different things. So I’m saying to keep your mind busy, go out and be active, be more social, start refocusing your energy on things that make you happy. WITHOUT having to have other people around. Learning how to be happy and content in your own company is something people struggle with in general I think. So take this time to make yourself happy. "Time heals all wounds"- Chaucer <—-cheesy quote reference number two. You’re welcome.
I’ve told you things you should do so now I’ll tell you what you shouldn’t do.
You shouldn’t allow you’re happiness to be encompassed by one person. Not only is that too much responsibility and pressure for the other person to handle, but you should be the person that holds your happiness. Your partner only adds to the awesomeness. Too often do people go into relationships only half whole expecting someone else to complete them, that’s set back number one.
Love yourself, know what you want in life, get over your hang ups, and everything else will fall into place. I’ll step off my soap box now, I just wanted to talk about some recurring questions that I get quite often, and I hope it helped.
night night moon lovers <3
10:43 pm • 29 November 2012 • 16 notes
Thanksgiving is tomorrow and so many people celebrate this holiday in so many different ways. For me, since my family isn’t within driving distance, we spend this holiday with friends and eat great food and I will try and bring my family’s tradition of burning something (bacon and mashed potatoes courtesy of my sister Maria) to the festivities.
I am thankful for my friends, my family, my YouTube family, all of you, and the fact that I don’t try and make things on my own very often. I am no DIY queen, but I am a lil bee in the waiting…one day I will be better hahaha! Enjoy my trial and errors and to you and yours, Happy Thanksgiving.
4:04 pm • 21 November 2012 • 5 notes